A "Near-Death" Experience

As Kamikazee Pigeon pointed out, I recently had a near death experience (in a manner of speaking). It went something like this: I had a parachute, but I was considering getting a new one, as my current one was about due to be retired. That being said, it still had some use in it, so there was no IMMEDIATE need for another one. I was contacted by a parachute salesman, so I thought I would look into buying a new one. Here is where the near death comes in to play. I was on the plane, flying along, and I wasn't sure if my new parachute had arrived yet. I asked my assistant how soon he could have the old chute unpacked, in case the new chute arrived. He said, "I already unpacked the old chute" (with no mention of whether the new one had arrived), then shoved me out of the plane. At this point, I think I tried to crap my pants, but since both me and my crap were in free-fall, I think I was saved by physics. Or something. Anyway, as you may know, you cannot pull the ripcord immediately, or your chute gets tangled with the propellers, and it's a bad scene. So I had this agonizing wait while I basically assumed that I was going to die. Luckily, afer what seemed like a day or so later, I was able to pull the ripcord, and it turned out that I did in fact have a new chute, so that's good. Kind of an anticlimactic ending I suppose, but the whole thing is really more of an analogy anyway.