A Titanular Quest

I am well aware that reading about computer troubles is not what many people would refer to as "high quality entertainment", but recently I was deprived of the interweb at my home due to an unfortunate "hardware malfunction". Seeing as I was desperately trying to fix this problem in order to play Titan Quest, and Greek Mythology has been around for thousands of years and people still seem interested in it, AND given the fact that epic tales are by their very nature, epic, I will try to relay the story in a more entertaining fashion. It all began about three years ago, I was engaged in epic travels through the labyrinth known as the seacoast NH area. I was attempting to defeat some terrorists, or perhaps the Chinese, or perhaps attempting some other violent, yet noble feat, when I realized that my weapon had become a bit obsolete. Tirelessly I searched the jungle for a new weapon, or the makings of one. Eventually, I was able to find enough pieces to assemble a superior weapon, and with a little care and patience, it was honed into a vastly superior mechanism for accomplishing my goals. Over the next three years, I stumbled across various items that I used to enhance my weapon, adding attributes that made it more effective, and many beasts fell by its wrath. This is of course, until last Thursday. Last Thursday I had run across a swarm of giant locusts, and just before they fell in a heap, as had happened many times previously, my weapon fell to the ground, silent. The familiar blue aura had ceased as well. I frantically tried to repair my weapon, removing and replacing various runes and charms in an effort to awaken it. Alas, I could not fix it, and my comrades were forced to venture into the dark without me. After much study, I identified what I believed to be the problem, and immediately visited a local merchant to obtain a replacement. Upon reassembly, I needed to visit the cave of drivers in order to complete the fusion of the replacement part and all its fellow pieces. I entered the cave, which had a path clearly marked "drivers", so foolishly, I headed that way. At the end of the path was a fountain of water, which I rashly dipped my weapon in to. Immediately I was surround by the same darkness that had gotten me in to this predicament. After a brief moment of panic, I decided that I should probably go back to the merchant and acquire another OS (Outer Seal) to apply to my weapon, since the old one didn't seem to get along with then new part. The merchant informed me that I would have to write down the secret code to get another OS, or else talk to the Indian Robot, and have it give me the code. Failing at the former, I tried the latter, and again ventured in to the cave of drivers. Again I dipped my weapon in the fountain, and again I was immediately surrounded bu silence and darkness. "Mother of Hera!!" I proclaimed as I stumbled out in the darkness. Upon returning to the sign that said "drivers", I looked more closely, and off to the left, near a tiny crack in the wall was a sign written in what appeared to be Greek. I decided to go in anyway, and low and behold there was another sign that said "weapons" and after that a sign that said "your weapon". After using the fountain found in this room, my weapon was again restored to its former glory, and all was well. Fin

A Vicious Cycle

I had originally planned to write about these, but something more shocking and immediate has come up. That being said, I do have a few comments about Rap Snacks that I think should probably be addressed. I will start by saying that I have in fact consumed "Bar-B-Queing with my Honey" flavored chips brought to me by Lil' Romeo. Although I am not familiar with his body of work, I did like some of his father's creations, including this, and yes, even this. I will also point out that Lil' Romeo would like you to stay in school. No word on where his degree is from, but I will look in to it. I would also like to point out that many of the messages are very education oriented, so this one seems a little out of place, even if it is coming from the Youngbloodz. On a side not, one of my favorite songs of all time features the Youngbloodz, and every other song I have head by them is pretty much awful. I guess we will chalk that one up to Outkast. I wonder what their Rap Snacks would say?

Ok, enough of that. On to a more PRESSING issue. Let me preface this rant by saying that I understand that public bathrooms are gross, and from what I have heard/seen (while doing chores at the house) girls bathrooms are worse than guys bathrooms in this regard. That is not the issue. What I am taking issue with is the issue of WHY, and the vicious cycle that I perceive to be causing said phenomenon. Now, this morning, when I went to use the restroom, one of the stalls had SHIT (poop, feces, excrement, doo-doo, etc.) ON THE SEAT. Clearly no one now wants to sit on this particular surface, and if forced at gunpoint to use this toilet, would probably deploy the "squat technique" that I have heard discussed by female-types (usually while at a bar after a guy remarks about the dampness of the floor around a urinal). HOWEVER, it is not a fantastical logical leap to assume that the very same "squat technique" was being utilized in order to create this situation in the first place. You see, according to what I learned in Biology class, if you ass is PRESSING against the seat, there is no way that things can get ON the seat. For the sake of argument, let us assume that someone sees a toilet right after it has been cleaned. This person actually SEES that it is being cleaned, and waits until the cleaning is done, then guards it until it has time to completely dry. We can describe this toilet as "pristine". It would make no sense to squat, correct? Now, after this person uses the toilet, being sure to PRESS firmly, thus sealing off any sort of debris, is it really that much worse to sit on? worse than say, the knobs on the sink that are touched IMMEDIATELY after people "handle themselves" so to speak? I say no. And assuming that everyone followed that philosophy, then it would remain that way. Frankly, I feel like anyone that cannot handle that, should not be using a public toilet, because I think we can all agree that when business is done directly on the seat, then no one, germophobe or no, wants to use that facility anymore. Just as a final note, this particular toilet was also the one closest to those tissue paper seat covers. I really hate people sometimes.

Return of the Blogger

In light of it being voting day (though I am not actually voting, so I don't know what that has to do with anything) and at the urging of KP, I have decided to attempt a triumphant return to the "blogosphere". Admittedly, I have not even being keeping up with OTHER PEOPLE'S blogs, much less my own, but I did notice that Frank has not exactly been putting me to shame, that makes me feel a little better. My life has been just about the same excitement-wise as it was back when I was posting more regularly, but since my mission statement explicitly points out that what happens in "reality" has very little to do with what appears here, so I suppose that is also irrelevant. I can say with all certainty that had I written anything on Saturday evening/Sunday morning after visiting Brickskellers, we all could have had an entertaining morning read. You, courtesy of Brickskellers, and me courtesy of the MD 20/20s and Sparks+ that the Hermanator brought over before we went out. Man did I feel terrible the next day. A few notes in that regard: Beer + Rusty Nail? Not so good. Beer + Cayenne pepper? Not so good. All in all a good time though.

I did discover something interesting. I was watching "Flight of the navigator" the other day. As is not surprising, most people in that movie have never been in much of anything else. However, the movie does feature a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, and more surprising than anything, especially given my age when I first saw the movie, is that the voice of the ship is played by Paul Reubens. Interestingly enough, there appears to be a new Pee-Wee's playhouse movie coming out in 2007. First Brady throws 4 picks, then the Bears lose to the Dolphins, then the Lions win a game, then this. I really don't know what to believe anymore.