A Titanular Quest

I am well aware that reading about computer troubles is not what many people would refer to as "high quality entertainment", but recently I was deprived of the interweb at my home due to an unfortunate "hardware malfunction". Seeing as I was desperately trying to fix this problem in order to play Titan Quest, and Greek Mythology has been around for thousands of years and people still seem interested in it, AND given the fact that epic tales are by their very nature, epic, I will try to relay the story in a more entertaining fashion. It all began about three years ago, I was engaged in epic travels through the labyrinth known as the seacoast NH area. I was attempting to defeat some terrorists, or perhaps the Chinese, or perhaps attempting some other violent, yet noble feat, when I realized that my weapon had become a bit obsolete. Tirelessly I searched the jungle for a new weapon, or the makings of one. Eventually, I was able to find enough pieces to assemble a superior weapon, and with a little care and patience, it was honed into a vastly superior mechanism for accomplishing my goals. Over the next three years, I stumbled across various items that I used to enhance my weapon, adding attributes that made it more effective, and many beasts fell by its wrath. This is of course, until last Thursday. Last Thursday I had run across a swarm of giant locusts, and just before they fell in a heap, as had happened many times previously, my weapon fell to the ground, silent. The familiar blue aura had ceased as well. I frantically tried to repair my weapon, removing and replacing various runes and charms in an effort to awaken it. Alas, I could not fix it, and my comrades were forced to venture into the dark without me. After much study, I identified what I believed to be the problem, and immediately visited a local merchant to obtain a replacement. Upon reassembly, I needed to visit the cave of drivers in order to complete the fusion of the replacement part and all its fellow pieces. I entered the cave, which had a path clearly marked "drivers", so foolishly, I headed that way. At the end of the path was a fountain of water, which I rashly dipped my weapon in to. Immediately I was surround by the same darkness that had gotten me in to this predicament. After a brief moment of panic, I decided that I should probably go back to the merchant and acquire another OS (Outer Seal) to apply to my weapon, since the old one didn't seem to get along with then new part. The merchant informed me that I would have to write down the secret code to get another OS, or else talk to the Indian Robot, and have it give me the code. Failing at the former, I tried the latter, and again ventured in to the cave of drivers. Again I dipped my weapon in the fountain, and again I was immediately surrounded bu silence and darkness. "Mother of Hera!!" I proclaimed as I stumbled out in the darkness. Upon returning to the sign that said "drivers", I looked more closely, and off to the left, near a tiny crack in the wall was a sign written in what appeared to be Greek. I decided to go in anyway, and low and behold there was another sign that said "weapons" and after that a sign that said "your weapon". After using the fountain found in this room, my weapon was again restored to its former glory, and all was well. Fin

A Vicious Cycle

I had originally planned to write about these, but something more shocking and immediate has come up. That being said, I do have a few comments about Rap Snacks that I think should probably be addressed. I will start by saying that I have in fact consumed "Bar-B-Queing with my Honey" flavored chips brought to me by Lil' Romeo. Although I am not familiar with his body of work, I did like some of his father's creations, including this, and yes, even this. I will also point out that Lil' Romeo would like you to stay in school. No word on where his degree is from, but I will look in to it. I would also like to point out that many of the messages are very education oriented, so this one seems a little out of place, even if it is coming from the Youngbloodz. On a side not, one of my favorite songs of all time features the Youngbloodz, and every other song I have head by them is pretty much awful. I guess we will chalk that one up to Outkast. I wonder what their Rap Snacks would say?

Ok, enough of that. On to a more PRESSING issue. Let me preface this rant by saying that I understand that public bathrooms are gross, and from what I have heard/seen (while doing chores at the house) girls bathrooms are worse than guys bathrooms in this regard. That is not the issue. What I am taking issue with is the issue of WHY, and the vicious cycle that I perceive to be causing said phenomenon. Now, this morning, when I went to use the restroom, one of the stalls had SHIT (poop, feces, excrement, doo-doo, etc.) ON THE SEAT. Clearly no one now wants to sit on this particular surface, and if forced at gunpoint to use this toilet, would probably deploy the "squat technique" that I have heard discussed by female-types (usually while at a bar after a guy remarks about the dampness of the floor around a urinal). HOWEVER, it is not a fantastical logical leap to assume that the very same "squat technique" was being utilized in order to create this situation in the first place. You see, according to what I learned in Biology class, if you ass is PRESSING against the seat, there is no way that things can get ON the seat. For the sake of argument, let us assume that someone sees a toilet right after it has been cleaned. This person actually SEES that it is being cleaned, and waits until the cleaning is done, then guards it until it has time to completely dry. We can describe this toilet as "pristine". It would make no sense to squat, correct? Now, after this person uses the toilet, being sure to PRESS firmly, thus sealing off any sort of debris, is it really that much worse to sit on? worse than say, the knobs on the sink that are touched IMMEDIATELY after people "handle themselves" so to speak? I say no. And assuming that everyone followed that philosophy, then it would remain that way. Frankly, I feel like anyone that cannot handle that, should not be using a public toilet, because I think we can all agree that when business is done directly on the seat, then no one, germophobe or no, wants to use that facility anymore. Just as a final note, this particular toilet was also the one closest to those tissue paper seat covers. I really hate people sometimes.

Return of the Blogger

In light of it being voting day (though I am not actually voting, so I don't know what that has to do with anything) and at the urging of KP, I have decided to attempt a triumphant return to the "blogosphere". Admittedly, I have not even being keeping up with OTHER PEOPLE'S blogs, much less my own, but I did notice that Frank has not exactly been putting me to shame, that makes me feel a little better. My life has been just about the same excitement-wise as it was back when I was posting more regularly, but since my mission statement explicitly points out that what happens in "reality" has very little to do with what appears here, so I suppose that is also irrelevant. I can say with all certainty that had I written anything on Saturday evening/Sunday morning after visiting Brickskellers, we all could have had an entertaining morning read. You, courtesy of Brickskellers, and me courtesy of the MD 20/20s and Sparks+ that the Hermanator brought over before we went out. Man did I feel terrible the next day. A few notes in that regard: Beer + Rusty Nail? Not so good. Beer + Cayenne pepper? Not so good. All in all a good time though.

I did discover something interesting. I was watching "Flight of the navigator" the other day. As is not surprising, most people in that movie have never been in much of anything else. However, the movie does feature a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, and more surprising than anything, especially given my age when I first saw the movie, is that the voice of the ship is played by Paul Reubens. Interestingly enough, there appears to be a new Pee-Wee's playhouse movie coming out in 2007. First Brady throws 4 picks, then the Bears lose to the Dolphins, then the Lions win a game, then this. I really don't know what to believe anymore.

The Strangest Thing Happened the Other Day...

So the other night Elsie and I were walking to dinner. We were waiting to cross the street when a black BMW pulled up next to us. This is not unusual in DC. The window on the passenger side was rolled down, and the driver asked us for directions to 495, or any way to get to Virginia. This is also not unusual. Then it got a little weirder. The guy (who seemed a little strung out) asked if it was far, because he was almost out of gas. We told him no, not that far. He then decided to explain to us that he had no money for gas, and he was only in the city because his other car had been stolen. Being familiar with how things are in this city, I braced for the inevitable solicitation (which would be funny enough from a guy in a BMW as is). What came next was both bold and odd. He asked for $15 (bold) and then asked if "you smoke this?", holding out a little plastic bag filled with a dark substance (odd). We quickly said no thank you, and he pulled a little way out in to the intersection. Seeing that the light was red, he backed up a bit. He continued talking, and I ignored him, but Elsie tells me that he may have been trying to sell us "his" car. After realizing that we were not biting, he ran the red light (now that there were cars coming) and sped away with his little blue baggy (baggies?). Just another day in our nation's capital I guess.

The wait is unbearable, but the music is good

I have experienced a wait similar to this in the past, but it was not so small and black and... AWESOME. Waiting for built in batteries to fully charge for the first time is basically the worst thing ever. I never owned a game gear, but if I had, I would not have had to wait. Actually, I probably would have had to wait until my mom went to the store to get batteries. Which could have taken days. Which would have been worse. Nevermind. The point is, that Darth Vader now has a tiny, shiny black friend, and I am very excited. If Jefe gets his ass in gear, he will be as cool as me. If not, I will roll into his crew-meet(nerd-fest) next month as the baddest man in town. I don't know which to root for because on the one hand, I would pwn Jefe at his own "house" as the footballers would say, at an even where "pwn" is a very pertinent term. On the other hand, the more the merrier when it comes to drinking beer and playing multi-player DS games, right? I was thinking it would be fun to bring this down, unopened, so as to not have any previous experience advantage. I was hoping that I could keep typing until my new toy (name pending I guess) was charged, but I would need a lot more (read as: any) beer to get that many words out, and I have to work tomorrow. The ~3 hour commute sucks, but my little black friends make it more bearable (assuming that my new toy is as fun as the old one, which can now be devoted to full time Big Brain Academy and Brain Age for Elsie). I wonder, will people on the train look at me funny if I start yelling audibles into Madden 07? Would it help if I used my "headphones voice", as in, that loud talking you do when listening to headphones? I am sure to be listening to this song at some point, as it is awesome and I can't get it out of my head.

Oh Lord, That Was... Epic

Over the past weekend the true nature of the title of this blog was revealed to some (above). There were also several other varieties of Malt Liquor that descended upon us while on our way in to madness. Also bum wine. Also several varieties of beer, but those were more of a reprieve. After all of this, one thing can be said for certain. Wildcat malt liquor is the foulest form of malt liquor I have ever had. And I have had others in edition to what went down in the A-town, as they say. I have probably forgotten some, but after all that, it is probably a miracle I remember to breathe regularly. Malt liquor aside, there was much video gaming, food, and company to contribute goodness to the trip. Also, I hadn't stayed up til sunlight in a while. Good Times.

A Quick Question...

I have a quick question, but it requires a little background. Some of you are familiar with my current bathroom setup, and so this next little bit is unnecessary, but for the rest, I will explain the setup. My bathroom is small, and by small, I mean SMALL. The way it is laid out is such that the sink does not have a cabinet built around the bottom, because when sitting on "Le Jon", your knees go under the sink. I suppose this could be convenient if you were violently ill at both ends, but that is gross, and not the point. What IS the point, and which may be similarly gross, is as follows. I know that many people use the bathroom first thing in the morning, and often brush their teeth in the same trip. I would think that this question would then apply more so to the ladies due to the laws of probability or something, but here it is: As a time-saving measure, is it OK to brush your teeth while sitting on the toilet if the sink is right there? It seems potentially convenient enough to bring up, but I think I am leaning towards "no". Let me know what you think.